"Leaders Go Towards the Flames"

I thought that this very personal blog would be appropriate to publish at this time, as right now we are all thinking of how important our families and friends are to us. It's a longer one that usual, but I hope that its worth your time reading it today.

The Gala Room

Denver, Colorado. 2005. Five star hotel Gala room 1. 8pm. Opening speeches at my company leadership development programme….

It was 2am in the UK. Back home, I’d be fast asleep and tucked up in bed. 

I’d been invited to a year long company transformation programme and having travelled for almost 12 hours across that huge ocean (my first time). I was standing alone at a small chrome circular high table, back of the room, listening to our Chairman reflecting on a wonderful career which had finished on top. 

Self Doubt versus Inspiration

Earlier, I had cautiously entered that large room thinking, how had I made it here ? Jet lagged, my confidence had dipped, in a room with 49 others, most that I hardly knew, I had an awful lot of self doubt. 

It had started in the elevator, going down to the lobby of this five star hotel and I was feeling far from home.

The lift descended, so too did my confidence. I was asking myself questions such as Why was I there ? Why me ? Why Now ? 

Descending in that lift, I thought about the most inspirational person I knew. Mum. When I was just a toddler, she had single-handedly got my brother and I back to the England from Australia, before the Six Day war broke out behind us. Just the three of us, but she got us home safely. Life was tough for many years after that, but I learned such a lot about life and what is important, always inspired by mum. Bless her, I reflected in that lift.

I never considered myself special at all and to be in this room was to be absolutely honest, slightly unnerving for me.

Scanning the room, I tuned back into the what the enigmatic Chairman was saying. He was reaching the end of his talk. I sipped the bottle of Budweiser. The familiarity of a bottle I see back home strangely made me feel a little more comfortable and at home. Maybe it was the sweet beer and alcohol. In unfamiliar settings, any sign of familiarity is welcome and that bud bottle became my support for that moment.

Five words

Then he uttered five words. Five words that have stuck in my mind for the last 15 years. For me they were the ‘words of the programme’ and sum every difficult situation that I ever and now face. I remind myself of them all the time. They are the words that unlock so many doors for me. Five words.

The Chairman was talking about leadership behaviours that he had seen down his forty year career and he was sharing about the challenges that he has personally faced.

He compared leadership - as a fire - that was erupting and you are in charge, in his deep, warm, caring Denver accent. This man is incredibly calming to listen to I thought. It could have been a scene from a Hollywood movie. 

He continued. “There is one behaviour that distinguishes all leaders from others. One behaviour that sets them apart. One behaviour that I hope that this course provides you with….. When that fire is blazing out of control and all around you are in fear, don’t know what to do and how to save themselves. When it is hot, difficult, complicated and overwhelmingly uncomfortable. Leaders do one thing that distinguishes themselves, setting them apart from the rest….”.

He paused. The room silent in anticipation. 

“Leaders go …..TOWARDS….the flames”. 

Gold, I thought.

Five words, from a lifetime of experience. He had had worked it out and put leadership into just five simple words. They hit me like a bolt out of the blue. They were Pure Gold that have guided me ever since and when I face challenge I draw on them and do my best to go TOWARDS the flames, just like he said leaders do.

Two Years Earlier

Two years earlier…Winfrith, Dorset, England, 2003.

I had been working as a relatively junior project team member on a new project for my company. It is common for management consulting firms to have a lead consultant heading up the project, which is good until they can’t be there any more. Much better to have a team of leaders if we can. A year into the project and our incredibly talented and irreplaceable project leader had to leave due to a sudden health problem. 

Overnight, the project was on fire. 

The next Thursday afternoon I was driving home, back up the M5 motorway in England, when my phone buzzed, glancing over I saw the first name of our global company President…Was Brendan really calling me ?

 Pulled over in the car park, I composed myself and returned the call.

“Gareth, how you doin’?” “Fine thank you, Brendan”. In an English gentlemanly sort of way. “Look, Gareth, we have got a situation and I need you to step in. I know this may seem a stretch right now but I need you to head this team up”. He continued.

“ I know you. I believe in you and I will personally support you. Will you do this for me ?”

While every bone in my body was screaming to say, no. But this was Brendan. The Top Project Manager in the Whole of our global company. I trusted him and knew that his support was genuine.

My brain said no…and so obviously my mouth said…..“Yes”.

No pay rise, no promotion. The payment I had was his trust and the outstanding support that he personally gave me for the next two years. I had been called to go towards the flames.

The payment I had was reputation build and respect from him and others. That was enough. 

It was tough for sure, did I get things wrong, of course, but I learned and fast. By doing what I was good at and just being myself, we turned things around in the end and built a great team and a happy client in the end.

Two years after that call, Brendan came over from the States and we toasted success. I was a changed person. And mum was very proud of course.

Connecting the stories

What is the learning that I take between these two short stories ? 

1 Clearly. Leaders go to the Flames.

2 Sometimes we are called to the Flames and it is the last thing we want to do. Flames can hurt. Inspirational leadership is within us but often untapped.

3 When we go to the flames, we need ‘heat protection’. We can build our own ourselves and the reason we are asked is that we have been seen to have the capability to build our own ‘heat protection’.

4 But others can help us too and the VERY best leaders do just that. They provide heat protection when they need to. Just as Brendan did.

Learnings

So my question is. 

Right now there is a global pandemic on, we all know this. It is a huge leadership test. Perhaps, the biggest of our lifetimes. Yes, it's scary and the future is unknown. We have been called to the Flames. Some leaders will succeed and some will fade. Some will go towards the flames and some will shy away. What will you do ? What are you doing right now. Even if you are not a team leader, you are leading yourself for benefit of others and yourself.

We all need to ask ourselves some questions.

1 Are we being asked to go to the flames? If yes, we must ask yourself, why is this ? What is it in within you that you are displaying to be asked to lead ? Reflect on this. What is your back story. What has made you. We can Build on this.

2 If you aren’t, are you displaying the very best version of yourself right now ? We can Reflect on this and Adjust.

3 Are you asking others to go to the flames ? And what protection do they need from you and are you providing it ? We can reflect on this, Reconnect and Provide this. Today.

4 If you are senior leader, are you going to the flames yourself ? Are you highly and consistently visible and providing the right quality of information and support available right now or are you away from visibility for those you lead ? We can reflect on this. We can Improve on this. 

Yes I know that is scary for us all right now. But we know what we have to do.

Before I end, did you notice the hero in the story ?

Yes, it’s the 24 year old frightened but incredibly brave young mother who scooped up her two young boys and travelled, by sea, the 9500 miles from Perth, Australia to Liverpool, England, with but a penny to her name. On the last ship up the Suez Canal, before war broke out behind us. This truly was Inspirational Leadership.

Did she go towards the flames ? You bet she did. 

She knew what she must do. So do we.

Leaders Go Towards the Flames.

Until next time.

Gareth